dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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