My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
