Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
