did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
