That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
