her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize