guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
