im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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