but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
