I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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