I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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