i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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