yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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