I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
