Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
