and she was petting her beer can
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
