I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
