that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
