this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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