i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
