I'm sorry my penis didn't work
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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