Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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