you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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