windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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