If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize