She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
