We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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