update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How does one acquire holy water?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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