i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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