she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
