So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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