i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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