Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
