i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We don't watch enough power rangers
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
