All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
