I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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