did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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