every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We are all done wearing pants today
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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