you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
