"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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