White coat. Heels.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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