yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize