I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
