i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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