Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
