She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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