We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
