Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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