why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
