I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize