I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think i got beer on your cat.
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