i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
