Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
