In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize