Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
