at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
it's great music for shaving your balls
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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