hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
