Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize